Crazy new police dancers to dazzle country audiences.












Des Pensable

copyright May, 2014.

Next Monday is special day for Bently, a small town of protesters built beside lush prime farming land not far from Lismore NSW. They expect a large contingent of police up for the First World Police and Citizen’s Line Dance Competition and the locals are ready for it.

“It’s really exciting.” Said a spokesperson of the Mayor of Lismore. “The people are on edge they can’t wait. And everyone’s excited about the large numbers of police and people attracted to the event as this will provide great stimulus to the local economy. We should have heaps of tourists to watch the event and they all spend money.”

“The Country Windmill Association (CWA) has set up a special women’s committee to help with the catering and Tamworth City Music Association (CMA) has sponsored several local country music artists to provide entertainment in the breaks. It’s rumoured they have a new country form of Rap dancing which they might show for the first time.”

A spokesperson from the NSW Police Line Dancing Association stated that the police had been training at a special secret training centre near Sydney to get ready for the event.

“Our guys and girls are really going to show these country people how to dance. The Police Minister has told us to show the country people what city police can do and we’re determined to put on a good show.”

“The Minister has also allowed us to take up a water cannon. This will be a special attraction for the women and kids. Our police choreographer from the riot squad has worked up a special dance routine which he has called “Dancing in the Rain” which should be a real shocker for the country people not used to city police dancing styles.

“We also have new sponsors for the Competition. A coal seam gas company which wishes to remain anonymous has given us a large donation to help prepare our dancers and supply them with the best trainers from the USA which as you know is the home of line dancing.”

A spokesperson from the Bently Line Dancer’s Federation stated that they were ready for any new dance tactic from the Sydney Police and believed that the police dancers were too unfit to dance well.

“The Sydney Police have forgotten where real food comes from. It comes from the country side from lush agricultural land like around Bently. The people around here grow and eat fresh food and breath fresh air and drink fresh water which gives them great stamina for dancing. The police dancers eat artificial food from packets, breath polluted city air and drink water from plastic bottles. You can’t learn to dance properly with poor food, air and water.”

Asked whether there might be any connection between the coming line dance competition and the fact that the Bently Protest Town was objecting to proposed coal seam gas mining in the area, the Bently spokesperson said “Of course not. We don’t mix politics and line dancing up here in the country. That’s a ridiculous idea. We’re ordinary conservative country people up here.”

The police line dancing spokesperson thoroughly agreed.

“The whole idea of sending a large contingent of police dancers to Bently was the Police Minister’s idea. It’s a show of good will and should help the local economy to weather the new budget. People have to tighten their belts you know and the dancing competition will take their minds off the terrible budget news.”

“In fact the Police minister hopes that the event will draw massive crowds so that if successful it could become an annual event that one day might even rival the Tamworth City Music festival.”

So come to Bently and watch the show and maybe learn how to line dance yourself.


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